If you’re looking for resources related to children, grief, dating after the death of a partner, and blending families, I’ve gathered the books, articles and other resources referenced in my presentation for the 2026 Canadian Children’s Grief Symposium, that took place virtually on November 12 and 13, 2026. Hosted by the Canadian Alliance for Children’s Grief.

Resources and Further Reading

Books

Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy: The Clinician’s Guide to Foundations and Applications by Phyllis S. Kosminsky and John R. Jordan

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern

Hold On to Your Kids by Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld

Grief Ally: Helping People You Love to Cope with Death, Loss, and Grief by Aly Bird

Articles and Talks

“A Daughter to Her Widowed Father: It’s Not Too Late to Find Happiness With Someone New” — Maclean’s

Dr. Becky Kennedy’s TED Talk on the importance of repair — on reconnecting with children after moments of disconnection or conflict.

Podcast

Mindful Mama Podcast — Gabor Maté’s conversation about Hold On to Your Kids.

About the Presentation

When a surviving parent begins dating after the death of a partner, it can bring up complicated feelings and questions for the entire family.

A parent may be ready for companionship, intimacy and a new relationship while their child is still trying to understand what this change means. A child might feel curious, excited, angry, worried, or resistant. They might enjoy spending time with a new partner and still feel conflicted about what that relationship represents.

There isn’t one universal timeline for dating after the death of a partner, and there isn’t a single right way for a child to respond.

The important question isn’t simply whether a surviving parent is ready to date. It’s how they can make room for a new relationship while continuing to show up for their child and protect the child’s existing relationships and attachments.

My presentation, Supporting Children When a Surviving Parent Begins Dating and Blending Families, explores this through an attachment-informed and grief-informed lens.

We look at:

• Understanding attachment: Why attachment matters to children, how grief can affect attachment, and why a child doesn’t need to stop being attached to their deceased parent to develop a relationship with someone new.
• Preparing children for change: The importance of honest, developmentally appropriate conversations about death, caregiving, continuing bonds and future relationships.
• Considering when to date: Why there is no universal timeline, and why emotional availability and capacity matter more than being “finished” grieving.
• Introducing a new partner: How to create opportunities for connection without rushing, forcing intimacy or expecting someone to take on a parental role.
• Blending families: The importance of respecting the family system that already exists, including traditions, relationships, memories and the ongoing place of the parent who died.
• Navigating difficult moments: What to consider when a child dislikes a new partner, doesn’t want to spend time with them, struggles with the idea of dating, or worries that their deceased parent is being replaced.

Throughout the presentation, I return to a few central ideas:

Love is not a finite resource.

A child can love the parent who died and develop a meaningful relationship with someone new. One relationship does not have to erase another.

Access isn’t attachment.

Spending time with someone, being polite or enjoying an activity doesn’t necessarily mean a child feels connected to that person. Trust takes time.

Children should have a voice, but not the responsibility for adult decisions.

Children deserve honesty, opportunities to express their feelings and meaningful consideration when family changes affect them. They should not have to manage a parent’s loneliness or take responsibility for whether a new relationship succeeds.

And perhaps most importantly:

Your child doesn’t need you to stop living. They need you to remain their parent.

A new relationship can become part of a family’s story without replacing the person who died or diminishing the child’s access to their surviving parent.

Bringing This Presentation to Your Organization

I’m available to deliver Supporting Children When a Surviving Parent Begins Dating and Blending Families for organizations, professional groups and communities working with bereaved families.

The presentation may be particularly relevant for:

• Grief and bereavement organizations
• Hospice and palliative care teams
• Family service organizations
• Therapists, counsellors and other mental health professionals
• Organizations supporting widowed parents and their children
• Professionals working with children, adolescents and families

Whether your audience is made up of parents navigating a new relationship, professionals supporting bereaved families, or a combination of both, the presentation offers practical considerations, conversation starters and an opportunity to think differently about what children need when family relationships change after a death.

I can adapt the presentation to your audience, setting and available time.

Interested in bringing this presentation to your organization?

I’d love to hear from you. Get in touch through my website to discuss speaking engagements, workshops and professional education opportunities.

Aly Bird is a Registered Psychotherapist, Certified EMDR Therapist and grief educator. Her work focuses on grief, traumatic bereavement and the many ways death affects the relationships and lives of the people left behind.