Grief Ally: How to help people you love cope with death, loss, and grief.

I wrote Grief Ally for anyone who wants to show up to help someone they love after a heartbreaking loss.



When you hear that your best friend, partner, sibling – your person – has lost someone that they love you’re going to be shocked. You’re going to panic. You’re going to want to do everything that you can to help them with the pain that you know they are experiencing.  Unfortunately, despite your best intentions, a misplaced gesture or word can have serious consequences. 

Drawing from first-hand experience and therapeutic practices, Grief Ally will teach you essential life skills that everyone will, unfortunately, need at some point in their life: how to console a grieving loved one.  It’s written for friends and family members who want to support a loved one suffering a loss that they never wanted or expected. And with a flexible approach that anyone can learn and practice, there’s no excuse for you to be terrible at grief support. 

Grief Ally is the answer we’re all looking for when someone dies and we’re left asking “What do I do?” and “How do I help?”

If you’d like to join a Facebook community of Grief Allies, follow the button below. We talk about death, grief, and how to offer the best kind of allyship to the bereaved. It’s one part death café and one part peer support, with a sprinkle of book club on top.      

I have been working with people around the globe for the last ten years to better process their grief. Aly’s contribution will provide immeasurable value to those who want to help their loved one who is grieving.

Claire Bidwell-Smith

Author of "The Rules of Inheritance"

What I’ve observed in Aly, as she’s moved through moments of growth, are two patterns. They are – her willingness to surrender (to go where she’s called even if it’s not the direction of her choice) and her instinctual harnessing of community (where most choose isolation, Aly chooses connection). These instincts are key ingredients for healing and growth and lucky for us, she’ll weave them throughout all of these pages.

Steph Jagger

Author of "Everything Left to Remember and Unbound"

As a widow and TEDx speaker – whose talk has been viewed over 1.1 Million times! – about just one of the many terrible things we tell grieving people, I know that we have a long way to go before the people who have suffered losses of their loved ones get the support they really deserve. I’m happy to support Aly in any way that I can on her journey with this book.

Kelly Lynn

Comedian, Actor, Speaker, Author of My Husband Isn’t a Rainbow

Aly has always been my person but I never expected our lives to be so true to the plot of Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang. If this book had existed in November 2019 I would have bought 20 copies and shared them like candy with her support network. Believe me, there isn’t a resource out there that’s written for friends like me who want help when life gets turned upside down.

Sarah Ditmars

(Aly's best friend)

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