Grief isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. When we lose someone we love, our entire nervous system responds. You may feel exhausted, restless, numb, or constantly on edge. You might struggle to sleep, feel tightness in your chest, or experience a deep, lingering fog.

This isn’t just “in your head.” It’s your nervous system working to process profound loss. Understanding how grief affects your body can help you find ways to feel safer, calmer, and more present in your daily life.

How Grief Affects the Nervous System

Grief can activate your survival respoinses (the fight-flight-freeze response), leaving you in one or many of these states:

• Fight: Irritability, anger, feeling overwhelmed by small things.
• Flight: Restlessness, anxiety, struggling to focus, needing to stay busy.
• Freeze: Feeling numb, disconnected, exhausted, or unable to make decisions.

For many, grief feels like cycling between these states without warning. One moment, you’re numb and unmotivated. The next, you’re overwhelmed with emotion or unable to sit still. This unpredictability is natural within reason, but it can be exhausting.

Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System as You Grieve

While you can’t rush grief, you can help your body feel safer and more supported. Here are a few ways to regulate your nervous system while grieving:

1. Ground Yourself in the Present

• Place your hands on your heart or belly and take slow, deep breaths.
• Name five things you see, four things you hear, three things you feel, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
• Walk barefoot on the grass or hold onto something comforting (a warm mug, a textured blanket).

2. Move in Ways That Feel Good

• Gentle movement like yoga, stretching, or slow walks can release stored tension.
• If you feel stuck or numb, shaking out your hands and legs or dancing to music can help bring energy back into your body.

3. Use the Power of Sound and Touch

• Humming, singing, or listening to calming music can activate the vagus nerve, helping shift your nervous system out of survival mode.
• Weighted blankets, warm baths, or self-massage can create a sense of safety and containment.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest

• Your body is working hard to process grief. Extra sleep, naps, or simply lying down with a podcast or book can help.
• Resting is not the same as doing nothing—it’s allowing your body to heal.

5. Connect With Safe People

• Grief can feel isolating, but co-regulation—feeling safe in the presence of others—can help settle your nervous system.
• This doesn’t have to mean talking about your grief. Sitting in silence with a trusted friend, cuddling a pet, or receiving a hug can be just as powerful.

You Deserve to Feel Safe in Your Body Again

Grief is a long road, and there’s no “fixing” it. But by tending to your nervous system, you can give yourself small moments of relief and safety along the way. If you’re struggling to find balance, grief-informed therapy can help you navigate both the emotional and physical toll of loss.

If you’re looking for support, I offer compassionate grief therapy to help you move through this season of loss while honoring your body’s needs.

Book a free consultation here.

Here are some questions you might want to ask in a therapy consultation.

Here’s how you can prepare for a consultation.