Grief Rituals: What Can You Do With All This Grief?

Grief doesn’t just live in our hearts — it lives in our bodies.
It builds up as energy. Pressure. Weight.

And so many people ask:
“What do I do with all this grief?”

This blog post shares a simple at-home ritual for grief that offers one powerful answer. It’s something you can do with your grief — not just think about it or talk about it.

This ritual involves writing, reflection, and a small ceremony — a way to honor grief through movement and intention.

You can use it to process the death of a loved one, a pregnancy loss, a life transition, or any ambiguous or secondary loss that feels hard to name but heavy to carry.

Why I’m Sharing This Grief Ritual

I first shared this ritual during a grief workshop for families who had experienced the death of a child. We explored the idea of secondary losses — those invisible losses that ripple out after a death:

• the loss of identity
• the loss of stability
• the loss of imagined futures
• the loss of relationships or roles

It was incredibly moving to watch both newly bereaved parents and people who had been grieving for nearly 20 years connect deeply with this ritual. It reminded me:  Grief doesn’t expire — and neither does our need to express it.

That’s why I’m sharing it here — so you can use it whenever and however you need.

What Is a Grief Ritual and Why Does It Help?

A grief ritual is a symbolic act that helps externalize what we’re carrying inside. It gives form to something invisible. It helps you name what’s been lost and create space to acknowledge and release it — even just for a moment.

Where talk therapy or journaling can keep you in your head, rituals invite the body and the spirit into your grief process.

They don’t have to be complicated or ceremonial — they just have to be intentional.

Creating Your Ritual

Step 1: Notice What’s Stirring

Set aside a little time to reflect. Light a candle, go for a walk, or sit somewhere safe.

Ask yourself:

• What have I lost that I haven’t fully named yet?
• What part of me is still aching for something that changed?
• What feels heavy, unspoken, or invisible?

Don’t rush. Let the truth surface in its own time.

Step 2: Give It a Name

Once something comes to mind, try to describe it in a few words. You can:

• Write it down
• Say it out loud
• Draw or symbolize it with color, shape, or image

Step 3: Create Something to Represent It

You don’t need fancy supplies. Use what you have around you. The goal is to give form to something that’s been formless.

Ideas:

• Write a letter to the part of you that changed
• Bundle paper or fabric with herbs, twine, or ribbon
• Draw a shape or symbol on a stone or piece of wood
• Write a word or phrase on paper and fold it up
• Collect objects that represent what you’re grieving and place them together

Let it be as simple or symbolic as you need.

Step 4: Choose What to Do with It

Ask yourself:

• Do I want to release this?
• Do I want to hold it in a new way?
• Do I want to mark this moment as sacred?

Then decide how to close the ritual.

You might:

• Burn it safely in a fireproof container or outside
• Bury it in the ground or in a garden
• Float it in water (only if biodegradable)
• Place it on an altar or shelf
• Read your words aloud and then tear them up
• Light a candle and sit in silence for a few minutes
• Be with it as you listen to a meaningful piece of music.

Let the ending feel intentional. You’re not erasing your grief—you’re honoring it.

Step 5: Breathe + Reflect

Afterward, notice how you feel. Tender? Lighter? Still uncertain? All of it is okay.

Ask yourself:

• What did that ritual allow me to feel or express?
• Is there something I want to remember about today?
• Is there more I want to do with this loss?

You may want to journal, rest, talk to someone, or simply sit quietly.

You’ve made space for something important. That’s sacred work.

Final Thoughts on Grief Rituals

Whether your loss happened yesterday or years ago, it still matters.
You still matter.

This simple grief ritual is one way to let the pressure out, even a little. You can return to it as often as you need — for anniversaries, holidays, full moons, or random Tuesdays.

You don’t need a ceremony to grieve.
But you deserve one.

If you try this ritual, I’d love to hear what came up for you. And if you’re looking for support in your grief, you’re not alone — I’m here to walk beside you.

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